Odd one Out

I used to think that being the favorite to all
Was my personal call,
To walk the line and be on time and make sure not to ever be
A problem or an obstacle for anyone around to see,
Instead I’d bend over backwards to make sure I wasn’t on their ground,
In analogy of course to speak, for it’s nearly impossible I found:
For nothing is ever as it seems!

And though the favorite things of all can be multi fold and not bend at all
They do not ever have to be a singularity
This is something that I have HAD to accept
That being the best is not always a precept
That can be or SHOULD be achieved in all we do.
Instead being the odd one out often will serve you too!

Just like me, just like I feel inside
That the once socialite has begun to hide
From all the hustle, the bustle and strife
I know it sounds like a Grinch kind of life,
And really it isn’t that way at all,
Instead it is a retreat all its own to be at one’s own beck and call
And not in the throws of chaos and other’s demands.

Finally I realize that somewhere there has to be a stand,
A stand up for me and who I really am
Not the one they want, that passive lamb,
Instead I must often let my voice be known,
And speak my mind without being told
Knowing that it is alright and that it is okay,makes it easier in many ways.
For I’m tired of the hurt today, and yesterday
And the day before
I am tired of the hurting completely ever more.

I will no longer let another dupe me or step upon my back
Instead I’m ready to stand up and not carry their biased pack.
I will help anyone that may be of need, or in honesty comes to me;
But from now on the guard must be up to block the barrage of stigma that others don’t see.
For they speak straight out of their own little minds
And never will take a moment in time
To step into the world of another and look around to observe
No they’d rather go on what they’ve heard,
And oh how we know how that can go,
It certainly with time will grow
Into something that isn’t what was meant or said at all,
(Or perhaps the tone will change it all?)

But trust me by the time that all good intentions are shared and heard
There will be someone to make it seem absurd
And out on a limb they will gently go,
And take what they will no matter what they KNOW
instead it will be what they want to perceive
And never stop for a moment to wonder what they’ve conceived
Was it hurtfulness, anger, emotional steed
Or was it intentional, loneliness or need?

What does it matter, the damage is done
That is something that for some reason no one
Can seem to get through their heads and into their brain mass
Instead it goes right over their internal instinct at last,
Yes over and under and through the most important part of the mind
They will forever be one of a kind;
Judgmental, observant only to their liking and fulfillment,
And stigmatize anyone who doesn’t fall within it…
But I’m used to it I am beginning to see
How unfortunate for me,
And for others who like I seem to comply
To whatever others throw at them with a sigh
And just go along to make the world for others easier
trying their hardest even if it isn’t feasible.

But do they notice, yet do they see or recognize
What an effort it all takes from inside
For someone such as I, to try so hard and long,
To reach out and show that I’m carrying a song
Not an illness nor an infectious disease;
But something that is wired different inside of me
Not something they can fix with their words or their judgment
But something the Lord has seen as NOT punishment
But instead a different view of the world all around
He gave me this gift so profound.

So quite often you’ll find me looking at the ground,
Not due to complacency, no not anymore,
but for treasures that we walk upon on God’s precious earthly floor.
The details, that lie underfoot each and every where we go,
to me they offer another dawn of appreciation that shows,
imagination and wonder and thrills internal
that can not be explained yet is Eternal.

So go ahead and make me not a favorite to be around,
For I am going to be fully in tuned to my own little piece of ground
Of which I am standing and you know what: from here,
Well, the sky certainly looks very clear….
There are storm clouds awaiting behind the hills I’m sure
But tomorrow I’ll deal with those that the wind will certainly lure.
Today I’m going to stand and know,
Quietly know that even though they don’t show,
Others are with me, and words are whispered lightly,
Call me crazy or flighty
Whatever the nickname, let it stick, for this ctry girl
Is rather unfurled,
Yet although many will never “get it”
I am content……..
How you may ask, with all I face each day?
Because the LORD walks with me all the way!
Ctrygirl 09
(pic from my excursions in our precious forest)