Begin At Anytime.....

I, being rather a reclusive type of person,
Close my eyes and listen,
I can feel the lonesome sound of all those around me, even though they make much noise and commotion, there is a loneliness to their clatter.
I can hear the elation of those above me, singing to their Master.
I can hear the complaining of those abou me,which unfortunately; often I hear call.
I feel the touch of those not there, yet it’s not scary at all.
I listen to things others don’t hear
I see a vision here and there and feign it didn’t appear
…but here it comes again, and again.

Perhaps I drifted too far from the shore or too deep into the woods
…I hear my name as the leaves fall, as the snowflakes touch the ground, when the sunsets touch the mountains, and when the sunrise wakes the roosters with their crowing sounds…
I love my life, why would I want to live it any other way
BUT perceptive, picking up all the details I can? I love each and every day!
Sometimes I wonder, okay, others would judge this as impaired health,(but they're wrong!)
Does this mean that I have been given a gift or I am and oddity myself?

And yet I don’t care…I know my being, I know my own soul, I care so for others who don’t seem to know,
Perhaps I don’t frequently enough let it show.
No, it is just me and how I am feeling so at odds with the world…
And how life events have made my mind curl,
Into a ball of a variety of directions, paths and trails,
But full circle I’ll come quite unfurled,
For I am accustomed to the ins and outs, the ups and downs,
Yet somehow I do wish they’d tame their sound,
At times that is, and yet at others,
I cherish the creativity that hovers.
For I know my GOD doesn’t make mistakes,
And therefore this is the path I will take.

Believing in myself and my dreams,
And NEVER giving up my precious memories.
For diversity is quite a gift you see,
Just like the TREE OF LIFE for you and me,
It reaches its branches North, South, East, and West
Trying to encompass all, it does it’s best.
Yet how can we feel so conglomerated and justified,
In our judgment and in our self- pride?

Just look for a moment at any old tree,
And you will see,
The direction it reaches ever for the sun,
No matter what it’s branches beneath have done.
Each survives in its own special way,
Can’t we just accept it and say,
Let each be their own, let each find their true self,
For no one can be inside your personal shell,
Incorporate into your ever- changing minds and hearts,
To encompass those of which you would start
To judge and try to figure out, just bow your head
And be thankful instead,
what a blessing that it is to us all,
for rote robotic beings would make this world rather dull.
Piece by piece, we realize we are all individual creations,
revelation by revelation; we realize it spans all nations.
I wish I could be the SILENCE and yet the PRESENCE
To remove your hesitance,
Not to make your perception jaded,
And leaving your own space un-invaded..
Acceptance of Diversity…Creativity…and Individuality,
Can thwart judgment and immorality
Easing so many a heart, mending so many a mind,
You can begin ANYTIME!!!
Ctrygirl 4 2009
picture of ancient oak in my area

THE SHACK

(hunting shack in our area)

I recently read a very inspiring book called
THE SHACK by William P Young
...it is utterly amazing in its ability to make one look inward and how we treat others and our preconceived perceptions of good/evil, right/wrong, worthy/unworthy and so forth it goes.
I felt so compelled to share a portion of a quote from the book to help others to stop and reflect how they treat one another and their OWN perconcieved ideas of how things SHOULD be how others SHOULD behave and this doesn't speak of one's morals and such, but how we go about daily life and don't realize the Expectations we put on others that they could never match up to and should never have to try.
To realize we are all individuals with our own pot-hole ridden paths to journey on, is what I hope to achieve by quoting a portion of this book. To realize that disorders, complete perfect health, ailing, or whatever the situation one may find themselves in, well WE do not have the right to judge, to insinuate or to indicate anything about the person of which we are pointing the finger. Yet in a world so riddled with judgement, stigmas and labeling ...it is rather a refreshing breath of air to read that it is all for nought that the "NORMAL BOX" has been placed afront us all to jump into and remain content within its walls...for there IS NOT A NORMAL PERIOD>>>each are diverse individuals so therefore NORMALCY is a MYTH bought by the UNTHINKING or the rote thinking of letting media and masses think for one.
I strongly recommend this book to anyone and everyone....if only everyone would read this and take the ANALOGIES given within its covers and actual deep thought, then I believe there is hope we could all just accept one another AS WE ARE!! But instead we place the rules and regulations and expectations upon one another only to burden some to the point of overload and confusion and feelings of confused worth. Let's just remember too that rules and regulations made by MAN concerning our relationship with whatever God or being we choose to worship are just that MAN MADE. Okay i promised a quote...here it is ;

"Those who are afraid of freedom are those who cannot trust us to live in them. ....IT grants YOU the power to judge others and feel superior to them. YOU believe YOU are living on a higher standard than those you judge. Enforcing rules, especially in it's more subtle expressions like responsibility and expectations, is a vain attempt to create certainity out of uncertainy..........RULES
(on each other and ones MAN created to tell us what is divine and what we SHOULD and SHOULDN"t do to get to our true home one day is what he is referring to)....RULES cannot bring freedom; they only have the power to accuse. Rules will never give you the answers to the deep questions of the heart and THEY (ie rules) will NEVER LOVE you" pgs 302 and 303

Perhaps let go a bit and just accept diversity, put away that trigger finger of accusation, and just let your judgement fall to the floor in pieces....its better shattered anyway for really WHO are you to judge?? Who are ANY of us to judge?? Accepting those with disorders, problems they are facing, grief stricken, coming to fruitation in the exploration of their religious beliefs; what ever the situation it is vital that we allow stigmas to STOP and realize a mile in another's shoes MAY just TRULY open your eyes!! Something to think on!!!!
ctrygirl

I've learned....

I've learned that good-byes will always hurt;
pictures will never replace having been there;
memories, good or bad, will bring tears;
and words can never replace feelings.
(author unknown but given to me by my youngest daughter as she knows how much I love quotes!)(pic of appalachia beauty from a friend's yard)

Are you THAT sure in your JUDGEMENT?

Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I’m not perfect – but I don’t live to be,
But before you start pointing fingers,
Make sure YOUR hands are clean.
Bob Marley

This was a part of my daughter's collection of pics and quotes. I felt it spoke volumes, although I do NOT encourage smoking and especially at such a young age due to health!!!
Who are we to really judge anyone? In a world of so many other problems and issues going on, where is there room for judgement and pious belief that OUR way is the right way. Do we ever stop to consider the HOW? As in the HOW did someone get to the point they are at? What led them to do the things they do or did? Will their errs ever be forgotten or are they leaded weights that we as a society will add to each time we judge?

Think about that the next time BEFORE you judge a book by its cover. It would make the world a much easier place for so very many. And leave room for change, for people DO change, if we keep them all inside a boxed in arena of judgement, we are not leaving room for them to grow, to heal, to alter the direction they will go, nor are we being true to the old addage.....clean up your own house first.
Problem being, so few look into the internal mirror and feel they have done so when in reality they often see what they WANT to see. Instead of the feigned review of oneself....look deeper.....I'm sure you too have areas of your life someone could judge or misinterprete or even disagree with, and isn't that what makes the world go around??

Agreeing to Disagree...what an easier journey this path through life would be if all could just comply to that simple simple rule.
ctrygirl

Man's Best Friend is PRICELESS!

(pubdompictue)

THE GOOD DOG!
There is nothing better for the internal soul and to validate and understand ourselves a little more intensly than the good dog daily emails. Through this site ALONE I have come from the darkest caverns of depression and the outer atmosphere of mania through the HEALING words and confirmation that I am not an oddity, as so many in this judgemental world would have us believe.
This site will encourage, uplift, and literally tether you from the various directions that bipolar tosses us DAILY. It is a collection of quotes sent to you daily that comes from the GREATS who obviously knew much more about our illness than some of those currently in the medical field!
Remember knowledge of thyself is a key to controlling this disorder....it is not a curse, nor is it a punishment for deeds past done....but a disorder that is treatable not curable but TREATABLE and part of that treatment is how we feed our minds, how we tend to judge ourselves based on societal pressures...and yet through this site ALONE you can feel the virtual hand uplifting you, the true understanding of the rollercoaster upon which we ride.

BUT in reality it also is a great site for those who just want daily encouragement, daily inspiration and a positive outlook on how we can take control of our own mindset and attitude on life regardless of your health status, life obstacles that block the way for all of us occasionally.

For me it is an invaluable site that is utterly a lifeboat in this sea of a confusing state of affairs: in our nation and abroad. The world is changing yet the quotes you read on this site daily will help you to cope with such intense changes and such a diverse confirmation that being YOU is alright, regardless of what situation you may find yourself in. It is a small amount to subscribe and receive a virtual hug, outstretched hand, and KNOWLEDGE daily!!!

If you ever needed a site to subscribe to it is this one.....please check it out, read the testimonials, notice that this gooddog has been through the throws of so much and yet utilizes the greats of the past who had such vast knowledge and understanding of the humanity of each of us. We can not all fall into that "perfect" mold that society has insisted is NORMAL....actually NONE of us do, regardless of our perception of our self.
I feel rather stingy keeping this site to myself to this point for I have been receiving it for so long now that I would feel lost without it and look forward to it in my inbox each and every day. It is the FIRST email i read in order to get my day in sync with the mood swings or ordeals I may be facing and inevitably it always brings me full circle to recognize ......I am able, I am capable, I am unique and THAT is invaluable. You won't find a better resource for your daily life than this one. Check it out and subscribe and see the change it makes in your daily life too!!


http://www.dailygooddog.com/



I know it will inspire, and uplift and encourage you in your life's journey!! There are various ways to subscribe and starts out at a small amount that totals only 3.95 a MONTH!!!! (or you could go for the longer subscription that rates at about 5.25 a month!)
Please check out the testimonials and you will see just how much this site can help you, regardless of your status, your health, your position in life...if we all just listened to the quotes of the greats and follow their leads then this would be a much easier world to traverse.
I thank the author of this site so much for his words have literally kept me going far too many times to count!!

PS he also has provided a RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS where you can send it to one you know is in need of encouragement or inspiration to keep going, or someone who just loves quotes that are intensly touching and full of knowledge! I hope you subscribe as I have for I know it will make a difference in your life!
ctrygirl

Empty in Content Full in Promise

To my Dear Friend in Time of Trials

With each step I think about:

The TRUE worries, woes, and sorrow of a precious friend,
My heart is heavy but I hold up my head,
In Faith, BELIEF, and without one doubt,
I know she is wrapped all about,
Encased in the downy feathery wings,
and to her heart these beings will sing.

Comfort and solace, reflection and memories of good times,
that she had through this thorny climb.
And yet the precipe is so deep,
but remember the wings they keep,
wrapped about her should she stumble along,
THEY, sent by the Lord will keep her strong.

Not necessarily erasing the ordeal from her heart and mind,
but WHEREEVER the MOST Divine,
has instructed the guards he sent to her to keep watch,
As my precious friend's life has had a great loss.

Within the caged bars of thought,
no doubt she's reflecting on the one from which she was brought.
In her darkness so cavernous at this time,
will come a light that grows and shines
into her heart and reveals the fact clearly,
those we love, OH SO DEARLY
Are ALWAYS reflected when the light touches our heart,
for never can such a bond part.

The tether is too tight and daily has been wound
Around our souls and divinely bound.
There are no words yet created,
to ease the current pain where she's saturated.

I myself have been through such a drenching,
of how fast those we love are out of physical reaching.
Yet they are there in many ways,
just something I learned day to day.
As I trudge ever forward, yet quite in rote,
Not realizing or CARING I'd created a moat;
All around me to take time to heal,
it comes into my life even still,
Yet now the moat is a coping skill to deal
with life's hurdles and duties I am meant to fulfill.

And I doubt it ever will part
for just as she, it has taken A PIECE of my heart!
Yet I want to much to hold her hand,
and let her know beside her I stand.
My prayers go upward all day
Praying for some way,
to make her lament less intense,
because our love for her is immense.

Yet the wounds will scar over and always be a permanent part of me and she,
yet together we would mend as best can be expected,
For our FAITH has not been infected.

The blind leading the blind, through a barbed wire fence,
yet I know she can sense,
A virtual hug, shoulder and hand I do extened
to you MOONSHINE my dear sweet precious friend.

REMEMBER I'm here....when you need....
when you're ready....reach out and see you have a friend indeed.
to help you through this time of confusion,
NOT that I have all the solutions,
but whatever I can do my dear,
you know I am always near.
WE LOVE YOU MOONSHINE!
Reflect on that time after time!

If I have Learned ANYTHING

public dom pic)


If I have learned Anything…

If I have learned anything from this incomplete pass here on earth,
It is not to take things to heart that all seem to judge my worth.
Between the various shades of blues and grays,
Lies so much variety of greens and golden times portrayed.

It is a vicious cycle of deep encompassing darkness
That grasp the very coils of ones brain in the starkness
Of nighttime or amidst the middle of the day,
No one can ever begin to say
WHEN it will reach out its wicked little nails
And penetrate the internal entrails
Of the brain, sending vibrations everywhere,
From the tips of the hair follicles to the base of the ability to care.

It changes ones perspective,
Makes the world seem a little more detailed and defective
As if so many walk mindlessly about
And don’t see what’s affront them no doubt
But is it defense or is it prejudice? You see
For that is what keeps bothering me.

The paranora that comes along with this condition
Won’t let me realize the complete situation,
Or perhaps NO ONE can fully know
The truth of their own soul!

Much less that of others around which they trod
Others that often judge us with words unsaid,
but looks that indicate we don't pass the test,
Judged none-the-less.

But come inside my world for a while as my special guest
and see the line of darkness approaching,
and try with all your might to hold it back its encroaching
like murkiness it will seem from a distance.

Something you can’t keep out by simply building a fence,
for it penetrates the human shell of skin,
and enters into the organs that keep the light within
But it will pass don’t you fear, should you care,
to take a look at what cometh from there,
deep from the wells of depression,
for this little session
will also pass those of us who see it know.
That it is a curtain that eventually will show,
the light behind its veiled material.

And mania will replace it with a sense quite surreal
where you’ll dance and you’ll sing,
you think you have found the answer to everything,
and through the sunshine you will catch the infectious energy
that soon will be spent and back to the lethargy
of feeling the nails grate upon your brain,
and seeing the visions and hearing the voices again.

Those without the empathetic objective,
But to go about their own bubbles no matter how defective
Often making those not allowed inside,
To feel less than denied,
But this one has learned to take it all in stride
And keep up that head no matter what’s going on inside.

For MY GOD doesn’t make mistakes this I know
And nothing this world could over-throw
Or Can change that perspective, although there’ve been times
I’ve wondered what exactly is going on inside.
For I can feel the creeping, I feel the lurking,
I know it is doing its workings!

And YET I face tomorrow, with a little anxiety each morn
No matter what it may bring, there is something for which I am born.
And I hope to fulfill that purpose no matter how small,
One may judge my goal and all,
For MAN’s opinion is not conducive for me
Of what really the quantum world holds, for seldom do I agree.

And that’s alright too, for one thing is certain,
If we don’t agree to disagree then this world is hurtin’
Much more than what we can visibly see,
So I hold the head up that is the TRUE me.

And come what may, come the dark or the light,
I will be here to face it morning or night.
Even if the nights are long and endlessly without sleep,
And the days slowly pass and creep,
Or pacing is the note of the day; along with mania gone astray,
I will attempt to endure it all some intensely personal way.

And it will too pass, and on to another front I face
Ready to do battle with whatever the horizon may embrace,
Sending my way to deal with as I may,
And I happen to choose THIS way;
To believe that tomorrow is a better place,
And with an unsure, scared, yet determined face
I will go into it…

ctrygirl09

solitude and quiet do you get enough?

A nice reminder from public domain picture that a little of getting to know ourselves inside: the quietness of "us" can work wonders for the spirit and soul and smother the fire within, or the ever dripping heart.
NO matter the mood or situation, TOGETHER we can.
Find support in one form or another but don't forget to look inward at yourself FIRST. For you are the only true keeper of your own mind, ideas, creations,soul, spirit, direction and religion. It is a good thing at times to just be alone and think, and of course there will come moments of deep reflection or times we'd rather forget. Let them go, silently away from the inner you, be who you WANT to be regardless of who tells you NO or you can't.

Take a moment and look within, take a moment and notice where you've been,
where you're going, and how you'll get there..let your heart do the showing,
but know you must be quiet and still, if only for a little while make it your will,
to know thyself..know your direction..at times it seems hard but we're all always under construction, so keep that reflective surface at hand and look through the glass and see the true you..the true ME. I think you'll be relieved!

Cartwheeling Mind

(pic of my beautiful appalachian homeland)
My mind it swirls and twirls,
And cartwheels and whirls
Over the hurdles without fail,
Up to the mountains and into the dales
Searching forever for a place to be
Searching deeply inside me
To my mind to my soul
To my spirit within
Not knowing what I’ll find in the end,
But I march ever onward,
Head held high,
Mask tightly wound,
Ready to fly…….
But where will I go?
I have yet to figure that out you know,
But I know I will go to places unlimited,
To areas where no one has visited,
And yes, they’ll call me a freak and a weirdo,
But it matters not for God and I know:
That the mind is the instrument for seeking the Truth
And never can it be withheld from God’s youth,
Which is what we all are,
Mere children among the mighty divine,
Just living our lives and thinking we’re fine,
When in reality we are not so,
For something inside us begins to grow,
Something of which we’re most likely unaware,
But never the less it IS always there,
The ability to choose, right from wrong,
But do not take very long,
For the path is narrow and the hill is steep
Don’t let your feet mislead you and your soul you’ll keep